From a Mother to Her Child.
A Rather Unconventional Letter.
“It is the custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can’t) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtinesses and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind; and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.”
To My Baby Girl:
The story goes that once upon a time, I swallowed a bean. It was a magical bean and it was a bean only your daddy and I would know about. It was made especially for us. We had searched high and low for the bean we “thought” was ours but turns out the seedling was with us all along. (Seems grown-ups are a little “slow on the draw” sometimes. I’ll explain what that means later …) So – we found out the bean was ready to start growing and so, like good mommies and daddies do, we became impatient. And curious. And excited. And full of wonder. While the months went by and we watched you grow into a little person on the doctor’s office TV’s (a very cool thing they use to see inside mommy’s tummy), something inside of me … deep inside knew that the baby growing was going to change the world. And one fine afternoon after giving me an adventurous three days, it was time to meet you!
You had big eyes and a sweet face and the most beautiful skin I had ever seen! I fell in love immediately. You took over all the space in my heart and filled it with joy. So far every year has been even more incredible than the one before. I never knew being a mother was going to be this fun – you are the adventure of my life! You teach me how to be silly, how to see a baby grasshopper in the blades of grass, how to make everything more exciting. There is nothing quite like the way a mother loves her child. Nothing quite as pure as the love I have for you. You are my gift, my purpose, my conscience, my hope, my reason for dreaming, my strength, my courage, my heart … my EVERYTHING.
The day I met you was the moment I began to understand how truly beautiful life can be.
So I think this year, my Mother’s Day gift is to tell you all of the things I hope you always hang onto. This is only Part 1 (you know how long-winded mommy can be. Clearly, I’ll have more to say …):
1. Love is a choice. Science has tried to prove it’s practicality but real love – the kind that beams from your soul – there is no evidentiary (ev·i·den·tia·ry) proof that explains its bigness (not wholly) and that’s exactly as it should be.
2. Magic is real.
3. People will disappoint you but don’t lose faith in humanity. They need someone like you to make them better.
4. When you were 3, you designed an entire Museum and told me you wanted to be a “Museumer” (aka Curator) and you created a very innovative concept. (I’m going to give you that museum someday.)
5. Everyone picks their nose. You just have a great sense of humor admitting it!
6. New food = new friends. OR – a really good story later.
7. I love that you are your own person. You have your own style and fashion sense and it’s pretty fun to watch.
8. People will bait you to argue but the best thing you can do is smile, nod, and even if you believe you’re right, unless it is essential, don’t give them the satisfaction of replying. Usually, they just want attention and it’s a waste of your time and energy to appease that. Instead go do something that makes you feel alive and happy!
9. Trust is not to be taken lightly.
10. You will be learning Krav Maga or some form of death stealth so that way you will always be able to protect yourself and never have to worry. Plus I’m your mom and I’ll always fight for you.
11. I will ALWAYS believe you so be honest.
12. Be silly every day of your life. Being serious is not only boring, it will make you old.
13. Encourage others. It isn’t easy sometimes because we live in a world where being belittling or discouraging seems easier but I promise you, it takes more energy to be mean so don’t give in to it. Encourage others and you’ll nurture your own self in the process.
14. Listen to all kinds of music. “Favorites” are for the narrow minded. We all have our preferences but every day we grow and evolve and our tastes will too. Just be you. There is no better person to be.
15. Listen to The Beatles. They’ll change your life.
16. Read the following: The Metamorphasis by Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Anäís Nin, Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein (over and over), The Alchemist by Pablo Coelho, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, Nancy Drew by Carolyn Keene, The Apology by Plato, Season of Blood by Fergel Keane, Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel, and of course, Baby oh Baby the Places You’ll Go! (A book to be read in utero) by Dr. Seuss.
17. Watch the following: Monty Python, Modern Family (TV Show), Silent Movies (Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin), Parenthood (the movie), The Princess Bride, Lord of the Rings (I know, we already love this entire series), Léon, Singin’ in the Rain, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, La vita è bella, The Twilight Zones (the real ones … with Rod Sterling), Il Postino, Casablanca, Impromptu, Amelie.
18. Always dream big. Anyone who tells you otherwise thinks too small.
19. Seeing the world is the greatest education.
20. Don’t take education for granted. It is the compass that guides your intellect.
21. Paint your nails whatever color you want. Who cares what anyone else thinks?!
22. Always do your best to be a good friend. It will be your greatest asset throughout your life.
23. I totally believe you will build the time machine you always talk about.
24. You. Are. Funny. Plain and simple, I’ve never laughed so hard before – EVER. You are a funny kid.
25. I miss you the moment we’re apart.
Thank you for teaching me the truth about life. About love. About honesty. About goodness. About everything that matters … So I just want to say, live your life the way YOU want. As long as you don’t intentionally hurt anyone, I want you to be exactly who you are and whoever you want to be. I am proud of your individuality and your kindness and everything you are. You are the highlight of my every day.
Happy Mother’s Day! As silly as it sounds, I owe this day to you because without you, there’d be no reason to celebrate. XO
Photo by Matt Sanderson
Love,
Mommy.
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