Confessions of a Woman
A True Account of Why Women Like Valentine’s Day.
for every mom and woman out there.
*Disclaimer: This is about women. Men – we know you deserve passion too so just assume we are also going to step up our game for you (this includes doing those “things” you like us to do to you). And this, for the record goes for ALL partners.
Ok, now you can read on.
The reminder that passion is given a window to stir things up.
We do NOT mean it when we say, “Don’t do anything special”. Here’s the thing, it matters to us women; Not because Hallmark deemed it a day of love (which it did) or because we want a romantic story to share (because we do) or even because we want a reason to wear our sexiest dress and pretty lingerie for you to devour (because we do). Women are not men. (Yes, I know … shocker.) We may pretend not to watch Romantic Comedies and tear up when they end up kissing for the first time or find true love but trust me, even the toughest of us are tearing up on the inside. Deep down, we are emotional, passionate, sensual creatures. We love feeling appreciated … just like you. (Take note.)
2. Independent Woman Does NOT Mean “Romance” Is Off The Table.
Sometimes, in the midst of being independent, men forget we don’t want to be “independent” when it comes to romance. Take me for instance. I am a screenwriter. I am a writer. I am an editor. I plan events. I work, on average, 16 hours a day. I’m a mom 24 hours a day and a partner the other 8. I sleep about 4 hours every night and I get up at least 3 times. I am beyond grateful to be able to put my heart and soul into what I do. I absolutely love being a mom. It really is the best gift ever. I love being a partner. And a lover. However – I’m tired. I could stand a little romance – AND – a little time to myself. I haven’t had a vacation in over 10 years. (Not even kidding.) I also haven’t had a passionate date night in … let’s just say memory is a little foggy on when.
I love being valued for what I’m accomplishing, truly but – I’m still a woman. And … now here’s where I really need you to pay attention … I love being treated like … I’m a woman. Not a superhero. Or one of your “buddies”. I’m not complaining for being resilient, I’m so glad I am. I’m not complaining that I’m seen as equal (which let’s be honest, boobs sort of ruin that whole idea that you see us as equal). I’m not complaining about being tired … because, it’s actually a fact. In fact, this isn’t a complaint at all. It’s just a reminder that even though us women pretend that Valentine’s Day isn’t important to us or that we can do without all the “fuss”, we’re lying. I’m not saying we need a private helicopter ride over the city or a $500 Dinner For Two or diamonds from Tiffany’s. I’m saying, don’t count us out of the whole “need for romance” thing just because we’re “independent”. (Which just means we’re tenacious and eager NOT to have to be “on” all the time.)
3. Hallmark and Brilliant Marketing.
Valentine’s Day is a sentimental and ridiculous day marketed by the greatest Marketing Team in the world. And yet –
While we say Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be just one day every year, “it should be Valentine’s Day every day”, those sales people seriously did a number on us. Because every year as that day rolls around we wonder what kind of wonderfully, romantic night (or day – or weekend) is in store for us. And we hope, we get a chance to NOT be a mom or an entrepreneur or some other everyday role. For us? We want a reason to be bold, daring, sexy as hell. We want a reason to tap into our alter ego and give you the most unforgettable night of your life. We just need you to give us the opening. Which brings us back to Valentine’s Day.
I’m sorry. Those marketing people were brilliant! Hallmark – in spite of their awful taste in “Made For TV” movies, really tapped into something. And sadly, like good little consumers, we like the idea that once a year the partners in our lives do something nice … just for us. It’s like “Women Appreciation Day”. And I know all of my strong minded, women’s libber friends will be trying to pull their eyes out so they don’t have to read anymore of this, but even they secretly love romantic gestures. (Oh, you know you do).
4. PASSION. We like to be touched.
I can’t speak for every woman but I can say, passion is important. Like grabbing us and kissing us like we are your mistress (and this means we want you to see us AS your mistress, not actually have one). We too enjoy a little role playing. It gives us a chance to be the vixen we want to be. And the one you desire us to be. So yes, by all means, kiss us. Make out with us. Touch us. We LOVE to be touched. (Everywhere … foreplay is definitely fun for us.) So this year as the big Dooms Day – aka Valentine’s Day – rolls around, be thoughtful. And sexy. We love it when you’re sexy – not 1980s sexy. ACTUALLY sexy – and it’s sexy when you see us as sexy too. (Seriously.)
5. Plan Something.
It may be way too late to make a last minute dinner reservation anywhere worth going to but that doesn’t mean you can’t put together a romantic picnic (even if you have the kiddos). The beach is always nice. Nature already gave you the perfect backdrop. Bring wine or champagne and – in the event you do have your kids – bring apple cider for them. Enjoy a fun day BUT – then, put aside some time just for the grown-ups. When your kids go to bed, don’t be too tired to remind us that you love us – and that we turn you on. We need to know that too. When we know we turn you on, it turns us on. (This would be a good time to start touching us … softly and sensually.)
Valentine’s Day should be romantic in some way but a great Valentine’s Day? It’ll end with multiple orgasms. (Just in case you wondered.) As a PSA: please note we really like sex. (Ladies, you really should. It’s SO good for us!)
So yes. We are moms. We are women. We are busy – all the time. Give us a reason to take a time out. Remind us why we love you so much. Why we want to give you pleasure (yes, THAT kind of pleasure). Remind us that we are more than the matriarch. Remember – romance isn’t just a word. It’s a verb and an adjective. We love verbs and adjectives. They’re kind of our thing. (It’s totally not weird.)
Kiss us, touch us, and then be ready for good ole fashioned passion sex. Caress our skin, kiss us in every possible place, make us long for you and then? It’s on.
7. The truth.
All of the above is absolutely and utterly true. (For a lot of women.) But, while we want to be all sexy and vixen-like, remind us that eating dinner with us while dressed in pajamas, no makeup on, and talking about silly stuff also makes us beautiful. Because we think you’re pretty darn adorable when you wear your t-shirt, pajama bottoms and get all goofy while you talk about the latest episode of “Archer”.
Just as an aside, if we can be REALLY honest, we’d also take a weekend to ourselves. In a nice Hotel, with a big bed, champagne, wine, food (like endless gourmet gluten-free donuts), a beach and sleep.
(Yes, I’m a dreamer, I know.)
Thank you for reading. This has been a confessional … because it is Dooms Day after all.
THIS MONTH AT THE OSCARS