A Letter from a mother to you …
Often times the mom’s get all the credit but for the dads out there? This one is for you. We know that you’re the ones who do the “fun” stuff. You play with the kiddos, you aren’t afraid to get dirty, you are the “go-to” when burgers and hot dogs are in demand, and you keep things in perspective. You’re also the ones that keep the balance when us moms feel overwhelmed. There are all sorts of parents out there in today’s world but this letter goes out to the dads who are present in their children’s lives, who co-parent with love and devotion even when you’d rather watch the game or sleep; to the dads who believe their children matter most; the dads who can be silly, NEVER instill fear out of anger; and to the dads who encourage and remember that to their kids, they are the example of how a man should behave.
Being a dad isn’t the same as being a mom and I think we all can agree on that BUT both roles are just as important to the children in our lives. It doesn’t matter if you are a mom and dad in the same household or you are co-parenting or if you have two moms or two dads or if you’ve adopted. The role of both parents is to give your children the world. Not in “stuff” but in nurturing and essential characteristics that you instill by example. It’s tough being a parent in today’s world. The financial burden just about every single human being is undertaking can be immeasurable. (And that leads to stressed out parents!) The constant battle with what is available – AND accessible – online and through digital media is daunting. BUT it’s our job to be the ones to monitor that, to protect our children, to keep their innocence as long as humanly possible.
Dad’s – you deserve some serious love as Father’s Day approaches.
The “Father” role is perhaps one of the most often skewed and far too overlooked role in today’s society. A good father is strong but loving, forgiving but patient, protector yet nurturer. Your role is different than us moms, true. But we have a genetic disposition to love and forgive and nurture. You have the same and sometimes, we forget to make sure you know how grateful we are you are here.
Now here is the part where I tell you my particular story (which some of you may already know). I am divorced. I have an exceptionally amazing ex-husband. When we went through our divorce, our daughter was barely 2 years-old. The change she would undergo would forever be present so we made a pact. We didn’t allow our divorce to be messy. We didn’t “hate” each other because regardless of what was happening, the only thing that really mattered was that our daughter was ALWAYS at the forefront of everything. We put aside our hurt and anger (because even in a nice divorce, those emotions are there). We didn’t bad mouth one another because I can tell you as a child who was a product of divorce myself, when parents cannot co-parent well, it is incredibly difficult for the kids. We made a choice but that choice could have been disastrous if my ex wasn’t the dad he is. He is without a doubt, an incredible father.
Look, we all have days where life is hard whether you’re married or divorced. But never forget that the most beautiful gift two people can give to one another when all else might appear to have failed – is kids. We are given a beautiful gift to love and protect and raise amazing human beings. Children entrusted to us to love and guide and teach and protect. It is not our job to harm our children or physically punish them. It is our job to love, hug, laugh with, be silly with, learn with our kiddos. It is our job to encourage their strengths and NEVER put them down. We are responsible for the future generations and in a world where it seems there is more ugly and hate and anger and violence than I ever imagined, we have the responsibility to CHANGE THAT! And it starts with the dads.
So to every father who is involved; to the fathers that hug instead of hit; who laugh instead of yell; who support instead of tear down – you are the pillars. You should be applauded. You are the examples that our children will have for what it means to be a man – to be a part of a bigger picture.
This year on Fathers Day, know that us moms are so so grateful for you. To the men in my life that were the greatest examples of what a parent should be, I am forever indebted to you for giving me the courage to know what is “good” and what is not. You are the voice in my head that encourages me every day.
To the Phil Dumphey’s, Cam, Mitch’s, Jay Pritchett’s, and Bill Cosby’s of the world: Here’s to you!
HAPPY FATHER’s DAY!
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